Time for a few posts. Today's a more personal post. So if you want to skip me over to the next one, be happy to do so.
I feel like a Time Lord. Like a Doctor Who (BBC tv programme show). Except I'd be as Sherlock Steve, Time Lord.
Some people get tired of life. In my case, I'm tired of being alone. So I looked back on my life.
I can't say it's been a joyful one.
I had to fight. I had to be crabby. I had to be devious some times in order to make the best of a rotten situation. I joke when I try to make a stressful situation seem better to survive. I've had emotional pain, physical pain, and spiritual pain.
I've had some great roommates in my life. Some of them are bad. MOST of them are unthankful and ungrateful since they've stayed in my home. Save for one who happens to be my best friend always.
I have loved women and men in my life. But that too is the worst emotional/physical/spiritual pain that I'll always have. When Pastors and idiot people interfere in my love life, their stupidity will cost them some day. I have wished for God to make these people realize what they did to me. Because when they look back on their own lives later, they'll *GASP* so hard, they'll wish they had a REAL Time Lord to bring them back to the point in time of my life where they could personally say I'm sorry.
Some days I can forgive them. But there are days when my human life wants to crave for justice and bring the people who hurt me and crippled me the most to the court of God where punishment (if any) can be done. I do not expect compensation, but all I want them to realize what their actions had on me.
In all of this, I have one message of today from the human side of my heart to say to the dear reader here:
Be careful of what you do to some one's relationship. It could be on your head to fix it. That is to say, if you interfere in some one's personal life, you are going to have to be the one to go back and fix it. Even if you say: "But I was justified in destroying that person's relationship!", don't. That will come back to haunt you at the end of your life.
A wounded person, like me, can be filled with the thoughts of vengeance, Revenge, and Justice. Those are those emotions that will stay with the victim who's life has been destroyed by the one who caused destruction of a victim's relationship.
But some of those days, I try to put the person into the hand of God and let God deal with that person so that I can get on with life. Some times it works. Some times not.
Some day, I will be OK. But the greatest day comes when God calls me home. That's when I look up at the sky in the day, or at the stars at the night and say: "Here I am, Lord, ready for the next adventure.". Those left behind are the ones will weep. Some joyful, some bitter. But some will wish they got to know me a lot better and learned to love me with all my flaws. I'm human, but not a Time Lord. I'd like to think I'm one, but I'll never be one.
I put this warning here so that many others can take heed of their lives. May be it will help, may be not.
But for those who hurt me and the people I loved in my life? One final warning: I can forgive you. BUT...
Justice is coming. When Justice comes, you will have no place to hide and you will finally be forced to deal with me and Justice. I will have my satisfaction. I will get Justice for the people I've loved. No more hiding behind "but God told me to do it". Justice is coming.
If you are not ready for it, then I'm sorry it happens to be you and your decisions of what you did.