Saturday, July 26, 2008

Suicide? Don't do it!

G'day Everyone!

Late Friday night, my world was rocked by a friend of mine, during an on-line conversation, that he was seriously depressed and that he was considering of killing himself.

When I read what he was saying , I jumped. My fingers flew over the keyboard. I was doing everything that I could to persuade him NOT to kill himself. But he was resolute. Determined to finish himself off because nobody wanted to be his friend. Once he logged off-line, I went searching for his friends, determined to try to bring someone who could meet him at his place and get him professional help.

It's no joke. You don't go telling someone that you are thinking of killing yourself just because you have a bad day in your life. It's a SERIOUS decision. Once you tell someone that you are thinking of killing yourself, you are already starting down the path to the termination of the decision that will not only end your life, but affect everyone else around you.

Have you ever watched the discovery channel show : " TRAUMA: Life in the ER " on your cable network? I have. I have seen the results of a person brought into the ER after they done the attempts of a suicide. Some get saved and their lives (and bodies) are changed. Others just plain outright die right there on TV. It is a horrible thing to watch.

Go visit a mental health ward. I dare you. I have personally seen one when I visited a patient there. You will find some patients who attempted suicide and yet have been saved from that attempt. They are living with scars on their bodies. Some don't even have any type of brain or function left in them because they decided to end it all but got spared. Their life is changed. They are not the same person as they once were. What kind of life is that for them?

But what happens to the person who decides to kill himself and successfully dies? Look at this:

It gives you a serious heads up of what happens to a person when he/she dies himself without Christ. But for the believer who kills himself, you wind up in heaven ashamed. It's not solving all your problems. It's like leaving earth problems behind and wind up with a NEW set of problems. Eternity type of problems. Suicide solves nothing.

I have lost two friends to suicide. My life has been changed. So has my previous group of friends and their family. I have been to the two funerals for my friends who have committed suicide. Their families are still in shock and pain to this day. My former friends and I still wonder what more we could have done to help them? How could we miss the signs of suicide intents? What could have we done if we had that window of opportunity?

Don't dismiss someone who is thinking of suicide. Don't second guess a person. Don't think that waiting a day or a two that the person will be "OK" and snaps out of the suicidal thoughts.
Don't ever take that chance!!

My first friend, who died, my friends and I took a chance. We thought he was just having a bad day in his life. But when we heard the news, we all regretted it badly. It impacted us greatly.

The second suicide, it was my friend who wrote to me by snail mail. The most personal letter that I got from him that detailed of all his intents to commit suicide. Only that he lived just 2 hours away, yet it was 3 days too late (which was how slow the postal service was then). Just rush down along the road, police in tow, bashing down the front door and finding my friend's dead body. It is the hardest thing in the world to see and live through. The harder thing was telling his family.

Some of you may say: "If a person wants to kill themselves, let them. The world is better off with out them". I say NO!! If you don't value the life of a friend and friendship, then you are sadly mistaken. When it hits home to you, then you'll be the one asking questions of "what ifs" for the remainder of your life of you could have done for your friend.

Since then, I learned to recognize the signs of a suicidal person. If I hear one remark from some one that says something similar to what a friend of mine told me in a conversation: "I FEEL ITS TIME FOR ME SUICIDE" or any other thoughts of harming himself, I will act.

I would find our friends. I would do everything I can to get my friend PROFESSIONAL help. Even if it breaks friendship, I'm not going to let someone senselessly die over problems that can be solved. To every problem in this life, there are solutions for them!

But you, that is out there in either the deaf or hearing community, and you are reading this and you see your self in a position of suicide intent, let me tell you something. LIFE IS WORTH LIVING! Reach out to your local mental health counselor. CALL SOMEONE. The act of Suicide isn't pretty. The pain and suffering isn't worth it. You got problem, I understand that. But, tell someone you need professional help now. That's a simple act as calling 911 and they'll send you help. You will get better. We all need support to go through life's most worst personal storms.

Lastly: choose the will to live. Suicide IS NOT the answer. Suicide is NEVER the answer.

After an uncertain 48 hours, my friend has been located and is being given professional help.


Jim said...

Suicide? That is a big and serious topic that is no laughing matter. I can think of two people in my lifetime that committed sucide. One I don't quite know all that well but he was a student at NTID. He left for one weekend and jump off a building in NYC. He did commit suicide. The second person was one of my 6 roommates at Gallaudet. He was an honor roll students and has depression problem. He has medication to help him with the depression. One Saturday, I went out with my roommates and friends. I don't know where his roommate was. Anyway, when I came back, there was campus police and the counselor
at the door waiting for me and my roommates to come back. The counselor had informed us that our roommate accidently committed suicide. He took overdose of anti-depression medication. He change his mind and went to the health clinic to get the pills out of his body but it was too late. He died of a heart attack due to the overdose of medication. He committed sucide during the same weekend prior to final exam at Gallaudet. I felt sad for what he did but he has had problems with his girlfriend and school. It was too much for him but he never talked to me about the problems. So had he communicate with me about it, I would have gotten him help and his roommate should have told me something. It was all failed communication even through I wasn't that close to him, I could have still help. That happen about 17 years ago and will be 18 in December. Do you think I can forget about it? Nope I still rememeber it. So like Sherlock says, if you are thinking about suicide or if you know of a person that is going to commit suicide, do get help. Even call 911if you think you are going to do it or even your friend. Because once it happen, you can't turn the clock back and the same goes with your friend. There is plenty of help and plenty of people in this world that cares. Even if you are a stranger and need to talk to someone, reach out. There is always someone that wants to help you. Reach Out and you will be glad you got help before you or your friend regret it.

Sherlock Steve said...

4 days after the SERIOUS event that has taken place in my friend's life for the 2nd time (and I'm betting countless other times too), he is not wanting to acknowledge the "event".

A person who has had a past thought of Suicide or past attempts will get creative to make the next attempt possible.
The main challenge is over coming the human spirit that is the defensive mechanism that cries for HELP in order to let the body of the person life.

Now, my internal fears are being realized. My friend hates me for telling others. I fear he will make his next suicide attempt very carefully planned to happen. If it does, He will hurt all of us if he doesn't realize it. Some of us are trying to encourage his roommate to get my friend some professional help. We don't know if he'll follow through.
At this point, I ask many people to pray for my friend in a unspoken request way. Thanks.