Thursday, March 13, 2008

Chicken Jokes.

G'day everyone!

I found an e-mail in my box today and it's Chicken jokes.. Enjoy!

Question of the day for our guest panel : Why did the chicken cross the road?

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...

ANDERSON COOPER - CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN : To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

LOU DOBBS: That's not all,Pat! It's an Illegal Immigration Chicken that crossed the Border road! We have to threaten the chicken by tell it that the either chicken goes back to Mexico or we turn him over to Col. Sanders!

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone.

JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth?' That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

ARISTOLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% ........ reboot. (along with the rest of the e-yolk and egg program 2.0)

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken? See, I'm wagging this bone of a drum stick at you all!

AL GORE: I invented the chicken! (ok, where's the egg, AL?)

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one? Where is it? It's dinner of the other "white and dark meat"!

DICK CHENEY : Where's my gun? I'm going hunting!

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some African American chickens!

LUKE SKYWALKER: The chicken crossed the road because it's obviously a good JEDI CHICKEN on the Light Side of the Force!


YODA: Crossing road, this chicken did? First came, chicken or egg? My dinner Chicken shall be! Introduce saber to it's leg I shall!

DRACULA: To Join my brides as a vampire chick!

DELL: Introduction of Fowl 2.0 systems along with as it's home page. Why cross the road when you can fly friendly Yolk skies?

JUDGE BROWN: the chicken has a right to avoid fleeing the Foul police as they were chasing it! Therefore I rule it has a right to cross the road!! (prosecutor: I OBJECT AND APPEAL! I"M REMOVING YOU FROM THIS DAMN FOWL CASE BROWN! YOU ATE CHICKEN FOR LUNCH AS PART OF YOUR SOUTHERN MEAL!!)

IRON CHEF: Chicken was trying to escape it's fate from the FOWL BATTLE on our show! Anyone for some Chicken ala King?

Alfred E Neuman: What me fowl worry?

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