Tuesday, April 3, 2012

an intelligent conversation

G'day Everyone.

A few days ago, I had an intelligent with a friend of mine on AIM. Except to say the conversation was pretty much one sided. What's happened is that he tried to "represent" a group of people who hate me for what I am.
I changed his SN and mine for security purposes. I will call my friend, "Watson" for the sake of conversation here.
lots of people told me that they don't like you as an individual.

Well, that's a shame, Watson, because I would have preferred to hear it straight from their own faces instead of hiding behind some place else.
If they were brave to tell me, then it would improve friendship as well as improve me.

So now, they're hiding behind you and pushing of you representative of them all..
Only you can speak for yourself, Watson..
You don't speak for them.
I've had a similar situation with another friend of mine and within the same group of friends of his..
They'd tell me to tell him that they don't like him at all (hating his guts)..

But I turned back to them and said "I will not be your group voice, nor allow you to hide in my shadow. If you want to be real human being, it's either you tell him yourself, or walk away. I won't be a part of something in which I get hurt for your sake. I value to teach him as his friend and help him as a human being. And if you don't like that... then walk on. Everyone gains their own insight, but regrets are down the road. One day, you'll wish you reconnected with him or me. Whatever or not it happen or not, the loss is yours all the more".

That's why you have very small fewest friends and lots of other people hates you

Or, everyone is just far apart (long distance friends).
I don't mind it, Watson.
it's their problem, not mine.
and I'm their friend. But when their own group friends turn them (my friends) against me, then it's their real loss.

I had a few friends come back from the past. Most are on the social media sites.
When I learn what's been said behind my back, I just tell them I forgive them, and we rebuild friendship.
Even that takes time to regain the former status of friendship we once had.

I'm sure maybe someone tell you that she/he doesn't like me at all.

A few have in life, Watson.
I have tried to tell them to tell it to your face.
because it's the only way we all work together as human beings.
Friends don't turn people against their friends.

If you choose to be my friend, for whatever reason you believe, then that's your choice..
but if your own group of friends wants you to drop me, then that's a personal decision that you have to weigh in on yourself.
I can't guide you in what to do, unless you ask.
Whatever you decide to do for yourself, ONLY you know who you want to be your friend.
But, should you join the group of back stabbers against me, you'll only realize pain and regret down the road.


It was after that of my friend, "Watson", logging off AIM.
I don't know if he's presumed to join his band of friends that pressured him or something.

But it's clear: If you don't like some one because of the way they act or they're friends with you, then you have only two choices:

1. Talk to your friend honestly and openly in a neutral site and in person. By doing communication in person, you are giving your friend an honest opportunity of personal growth with you. If you do any personal backstabbing behind him/her, it'll only increase resentment that will hurt both of you down the road.

2. Walk away. You can drop that person and avoid being friends for the rest of your life in which the "problem" festers unaware of your friend's life. But then you'll wonder down the road in the land of "what ifs". In eternity, you may have a lot of explaining to do.

So if you are going to back-stab someone, please tell it to their face in person instead behind the Internet trees and behind other people. If you successfully turn some one against their own friend, (even their own gay partner or married partner), then you will, in both cases, be labeled a selfish coward serving your own perverted needs.

One last thing: If you do back-stab someone, be prepared for the consequences. Those consequences can show up either later in life or in eternity. When that happen the price of back-stabbing must be paid in full. Believe me, it will be a bitter taste. Just don't do it.

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