Well, one specific blog I found on deafread made realize something:
Link: http://ehwhathuh.blogspot.com/2010/01/healing-deafness-and-becoming-normal.html
It made me realize and look back on my first English paper I did about my deafness when I was "test person" for the mainstream classes in the Fairport Central School district , back in 1980. When I wrote the paper, it gained me an A+ on it. I can remember many of the questions long ago when my friends and classmates asked me this:
"Would you trade your deafness to be hearing?"
"Which would you rather be deaf or hard of hearing?"
"Would you want God to heal you to be normal?"
At those days, I said "I don't know. Ask me in 30 years." Well, it's 30 years later. I look back on those questions now.
Of the first question: There are some days I'd want to trade my deafness for having hearing. There are some days I wouldn't at all. So some times it's been hell of a personal roller coaster.
Of the second question: Hell, yeah. I'd stand up and being glad I'm deaf. When I walk into some place so noisy that hearing people can't stand it, I get strange looks that is enough to say "how damn lucky you are to be deaf". Luck doesn't have that when you consider how God made me and others.
Of the 3rd question: There have been times that I struggle in personal faith and some times I ask of God make me normal, make me hearing, anything other than being deaf. But when I look over the years, some times I'm glad for the way I am made to be.
Some time ago, I got asked this question : "If it wasn't being a deaf mainstream test person in a hearing high school, where would you want to have been then?".
First and foremost: A DEAF SCHOOL! When I had been taught sign language in high school, I had nobody I could carry on a conversation with. I had to wait till I hit NTID later. Personally, if my parents and the school district fought for me to be placed in a deaf school, I would have done much better rather than forcing me to act, walk, talk, and be like a hearing person and eventually, hiding my hearing aid behind my hair. I appeared to be hearing in every way. But I had to struggle to hear everyone in class. I had no interpreters then, but had note takers and tutors. Not many hearing friends either then.
If I had gone to a deaf school, life would have drastically different for me. Maybe I could have done better. Maybe. Rather than becoming the poster kid that survived the testing of a deaf person in mainstream school. What they don't know is the number of times I personally considered suicide. It was hard being a deaf person in an all hearing school. Perhaps that's when my first girl friend (hearing, of course) recognized my situation and helped me through the tough days in high school. I do thank her very much. (if she reads this, i hope she gets in touch with me.).
Today: I look back of having the best of both worlds. But just one problem in this life. I'm seeing too many hearing parents that react fast of finding out their child is deaf and then just as quickly to get the CI on their kids. I would tell those parents to please SLOW DOWN! Teach them sign language first before you force them to become "hearing wanna be" kids.
When I look back on how my first 7 years of my life were peaceful before a hearing aid was forced on my ear without any sense of warning. I wasn't even introduced to it! It was child abuse in it's worse nature. Many times, I was forced to wear my hearing aid as I grew up. Many times I drew rants and taunts and told my parents: "this is my body you damn well know! I have certain personal rights!". They bore it all in stoic silence and waiting for the day I would come to accept the hearing aid as being a part of my life. Only did I play act that I accepted it.
But there are times when I was in college and when I was off my job, I'd go for a day or two in total deafness and enjoy it. How will the CI kids deal with their problems? I wish I could live till 2045 to see how they blog about their own deafness and how much they come to appreciate their parent's forced CI upon them. That's a dream you know.
So, at this point in life, whatever you are deaf or hearing, Disabled or not, whatever you are in this life, remember one motto: "When life hands you lemons, make some sour candy or Lemonade".
Semper FI
Especially to my hearing friends in the FHS Class of 1981.
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