Temperature JOKES.

You know.. when people joke about the temperatures in the winter time, there's no better place than New York State Mountains that has survived it all. So here it is:

For people who live in Upstate New York - (The Adirondacks!)

When the temperature is:

70* above zero:
we're all perfect, camping, sunbathing, and playing.
BUT... what happens when the temperature is:

60* above zero:
Floridians turn on the heat.
People in Upstate New York plant gardens.

50* above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
(but does that state also quake from the shivers?)
People in Upstate New York sunbathe.

40* above zero:
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in Upstate New York drive with the windows down.
Dogs drool over the highways.

32* above zero:
Distilled water freezes.
The water in Lake George gets thicker. (Lake George Jellos)

20* above zero:
Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats, and Sun Glasses.
People in Upstate New York throw on a flannel shirt. Chop wood.

15* above zero:
New York City landlords finally turn up the heat. The rats complained to them.
People in the Adirondack Mountains have the last cookout on the grill before it gets "cold".

Zero degrees (0*):
All people in Miami die. Most of the Cubans runs for Cuba as much as they can!
People in Upstate New York just close the windows.

10* below zero:
Californians fly away (migrate) to Mexico.
People in Upstate New York get out their winter coats, hats, boots, gloves, and ski.

25* below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates. Porn theaters are frozen.
The Girl Scouts in Upstate New York are selling cookies door to door.

40* below zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air. Obama runs for his WARM BUNKER!
People in Upstate New York let their dogs sleep indoors. (give them a bone).

100* below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. (we're not telling where his new stash is!)
Folks in The New York State Adirondacks get upset because they can't start their Mini-Van and Smart (Hybirds) Cars.

460* below zero (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale):
ALL atomic motion stops.
People in Upstate New York start saying ..."Cold'nuff fer ya?"

500* below zero:
Hell freezes over. Satan complains to God that he can't get his Pilot light to work.
Upstate New York public schools will open 2 hours late. (Ya gotta be kidding to ride in the subway after this!)

And if anyone else says there's an ice age coming again, Throw them a snow ball for me!