The holiday (Politically Correct) season 2007

G'day and Happy Holidays everyone!

Now why say that? Because political correctness has already run crazy out there. You can't say "Merry Christmas" with out offending all the other major religious people out there who start yelling: "Hey, you got to start respecting my religious, my holiday..etc.. etc..". So, does it make sense to say "Happy Holidays"? nope. (my door starts to shake a bit here. I don't like where this is going. But on I write).

How about Christmas trees? *WHAM!* A CEO of a major store breaks down my door and whaps me on the head and says "In the political correctness world, we prefer to remain independent of endorsement of religion. We do not call pine trees a "Christmas trees". We prefer to call them "FAMILY TREES". So endorse that on your blog and we'll send you a nice gift.

I shot back at the CEO and say "If you are single and live alone, do you sell a "Family Tree" to single people? The CEO says "No. We sell "the Charlie Brown special". That is: a skinny flinty tree that nobody wants buy and only sell to single people".

So I promptly pick up the CEO and throw the nasty person out of my room, making sure the door hits the CEO's butt on the way out. I notice my door's broken a bit, but not bad. I make sure to lock it.

What about the famous manger display? That is Mary, Joesph, baby Jesus along with the shepherds, animals, and angels in a barn?
Suddenly, I find someone busting down my door next and it's the infamous American Civil Liberties Union (that's ACLU for short, folks)!! The person hands me a notice of a cease and stop order saying "You can't endorse the famous manger display because it implies the endorsement of one religion and you must endorse and display ALL RELIGIOUS FAITHS! " . The person promptly destroys my favorite display on my coffee table.

By this time, I'm getting angry. I promptly shove the ACLU out of my room and slam the door in their face, which my door is now pretty much battered, and yelling "Be thankful ye unmerry person that God doesn't kill ye!!".

I'm still wondering if my door's security is going to hold. It's looking bad...

So just as I'm about to sit and write about Santa Claus, another person crashes in my door in to bits and demands that I endorse an alternative "Santa Claus". Specifically one that is FEMALE because this person believes Santa is gay and should be phased out in favor of female holiday spirit representative.

By now I'm looking pretty over come with much anger and I stand up and roar "THOU SHALT FIND THY STOCKING FULL OF COAL AND RATS IF YOU DON'T GET THE HECK OUT OF MY HOUSE!!". The person takes one look at me and says.. "can you endorse Pam Anderson to be Ms. Santa clause, the 2nd?". He doesn't stand a chance as he's flying out my window into a waiting ambulance.

When I get back my desk, I find that some one's stolen the TV, monitor, keyboard and etc...

So I sigh and finish this post and just as the cell's dying by saying...

If you really want a political correct Joyous Season, do yourself a favor, We can always ask congress to declare December 26 as England's Boxing day as an official American holiday.

So happy Boxing day everyone.. and just hope there's peace.. Ooops.. dove is dead, Good will towards men (if you can find it in their heart) and Mercy.. If any is left.

I wish this world luck beyond this holiday of political correctness run amok. I'll take scrooge and Jacob Marley any day. Bah humbug!